Top Chef’s Joe Sasto and the power of crystals

In an ear­li­er arti­cle I talked about Top Chef con­tes­tant Joe Sasto’s com­ments about kick­ing men in the balls, seem­ing­ly as a form of express­ing dis­agree­ment with men order­ing bev­er­ages that Joe doesn’t con­sid­er to be mas­cu­line:  What Joe said was, “Where I’m from if you ordered one of those you’d get kicked in the nuts.”  This was in ref­er­ence to the German drink known as a radler — what many oth­ers may know as a shandy.  At the time I won­dered just what rough and tum­ble, man­ly place Joe hails from where a man would be at risk of vio­lent physical/sexual assault sim­ply for order­ing a drink that Joe seems to think is not for him­self and, pre­sum­ably, his tough swag­ger­ing brethren.  The Top Chef pro­gram refers to Joe as being from Los Angeles; sub­se­quent­ly Joe has iden­ti­fied his real place of ori­gin as San Francisco.  I’ll leave it to you, the read­er, to pon­der how mas­cu­line either L.A. or San Francisco are, or are not.

Skipping for­ward a few weeks to the episode Bronco Brouhaha (S15E09) and here’s Joe Sasto again with anoth­er bizarre rev­e­la­tion (at least this one is more peace­ful than vio­lent sex­u­al assault) … the pow­er of mag­ic crys­tals.  To those who actu­al­ly believe in this clap­trap, is it the crys­tals them­selves that are the actu­al source of some sort of mag­i­cal pow­er, or the believ­ing in the crys­tals which imparts a pow­er to them?  Joe seems to be of the for­mer mind:  In a phone call to his girl­friend Joe says, “I was feel­ing burnt out and then I switched up my crys­tal con­fig­u­ra­tion and yes­ter­day I was real­ly good.”  His girl­friend was most pleased with this news and, pos­si­bly, Joe’s play­ing along with her beliefs in the mag­ic pow­er of crys­tals.  Joe goes on to explain …

Crystals car­ry ener­gy with them.  My girl­friend is a huge believ­er in this.  And, I’m def­i­nite­ly a super­sti­tious per­son.

I tend to think that Joe Sasto is more on the pussy side of the mas­culin­i­ty spec­trum … Not the assault anoth­er man for order­ing a girly drink side that he ear­li­er espoused:  Either Joe believes in the mag­i­cal pow­er of crys­tals, which hard­ly seems mas­cu­line at all or, and I sus­pect this is more like­ly and is the case, he sim­ply plays along with the mag­i­cal crys­tals bull­shit because he has been pussy-whipped or cuck­old­ed into pri­vate­ly and pub­licly pro­claim­ing “I do believe in crys­tals” in order to main­tain his sub­mis­sive posi­tion in the rela­tion­ship with his girl­friend.  I won’t even com­ment on the slip­pers.  What the hell has hap­pened to males (sor­ry, but the word “men” can­not be used here) in mod­ern soci­ety!

At least in the above amus­ing clip from the Jeremy’s Manager episode of Peep Show the char­ac­ter Mark Corrigan is just indulging a woman’s wacky crys­tal skull beliefs because he wants to have sex with her which, I’d sug­gest, places him a bit more “man­ly” on the spec­trum — It’s 2018 and peo­ple love a good “spec­trum” — of what is fair and accept­able for a man to do.  I don’t believe Top Chef con­tender Joe is, in any way, shape or form, exer­cis­ing a man­ly guile to get what he wants:  Well, to clar­i­fy, he may be play­ing along with believ­ing in mag­ic crys­tals in order to get what he wants, but I have a feel­ing that it is more out of “Please don’t leave me” type of des­per­a­tion.  I’ll do any­thing … I’ll believe in mag­ic crys­tals … Just don’t leave … PLEASE!!!

How Do I Feel? Empty, scared, lonely.
How Do I Feel? Empty, scared, lone­ly.

*If you watched the episode of Top Chef you’ll have not­ed that Joe did not do well at all that week.  In fact, he near­ly got him­self elim­i­nat­ed with his poor­ly exe­cut­ed deep fried mac­a­roni & cheese cubes.  I won­der if Joe blames his per­for­mance on the crys­tals?  I doubt it.  Rather than accept that the super­sti­tious belief in the pow­er of mag­ic beans crys­tals is illog­i­cal, to put it polite­ly, the usu­al response from those who believe in mag­ic is to dou­ble-down and pro­claim that the fail­ure, as it were, was a result of not using the mag­ic cor­rect­ly, or not believ­ing strong­ly enough … If you’ll only believe more, then you too can expe­ri­ence the mag­ic.

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